I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

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I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by Wildcat445 on Sun Nov 22, 2015 6:25 pm

My frau never gets terribly upset with me, being the long-suffering soul that she is. I think she is over this, though. She's being awfully quiet and is mentioning BLT's for supper..........

Her church promotes the "adoption" of needy families for Christmas. You choose a family and then get to provide for the family during the holiday season. I insist on interviewing the family. If I see a new car or cars, all types of electronics, a $300,000+ home, nice neighborhood, expensive sneakers, or a garage full of "boy toys", my "mooch" alarm goes off. I believe that there are people in the world who will take advantage of my good will. I refuse to participate in this activity. I say we take the money we were going to spend on someone else and spend it on us. The frau thinks I am being selfish and a "scrooge." Guilty as charged, I guess. I believe there is something amiss when the "needy" have more goodies than the people giving.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by willy3486 on Sun Nov 22, 2015 6:54 pm

There is way too many trying to sponge off others in the world. My sister was like that. She constantly wanted me to do or get her something. One time she was in the hospital. So feeling sorry for her I gave her a laptop. We could get 3 year old computers for free at work if they didn't work to save disposal fee. I would piece together 2 or 3 to make a good one. I wound up giving her 3 over a few months time. She was destroying them. She demanded another one and I told her I didn't have any more. She got mad about it.

With that said I am all for helping out others. I have helped out many. I think the best way to really help others is see someone who really needs help then doing something to help them. Far too many in the world need real help that never get it due to the mooches draining generous people dry.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by Wildcat445 on Sun Nov 22, 2015 7:01 pm

I believe there is a difference between being truly needy, versus just being in over your head.  Needy people should LOOK needy to me.  I mentioned that we should give them cans of soup and new socks.  The frau thinks that is being narrow-minded.  I'll be damned if I give somebody like that a new TV or laptop, when I could use that myself.  I would be in favor of giving food baskets to the homeless or working in the soup kitchen on the holidays, but just giving carte blanche to mooches is not my cup of tea.  About 95 percent of the requests for "adoption" are from mooches from what I have seen.  The truly needy are too proud or ashamed to ask. I would rather adopt a homeless veteran myself. Those folks have earned my respect. Maybe we could look into that.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by simplex1040 on Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:22 am

We usually stock up the local food pantry and let them "vett" the applicants.
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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by willy3486 on Mon Nov 23, 2015 3:43 pm

Wildcat445 wrote:I believe there is a difference between being truly needy, versus just being in over your head.  Needy people should LOOK needy to me.  I mentioned that we should give them cans of soup and new socks.

Sometimes people with real needs may not look it. Back around 2003 I got laid off. My dad died with a couple of months so I didn't put in much time to look for a job as I could to help my mom. I had a real need for any help. Mainly food or necessities and my mortgage put us in a bind. We put anything we got on credit cards so we wouldn't loose everything. If you saw me then you would think I was a mooch. I had a 5 year old or less car that was paid off so I didn't want to sell it. I thought hopefully there would be no surprise issues with it and I was hoping to have a job ASAP. We got about a years pay in debt due to that but we have it paid off now. I was in dire need, helping my mom instead of finding a job, and getting in deeper debt. I finally got a job after a year and a half. I never went on welfare or begged. I had new like clothes as the job I got laid off from we had to  dress nice.  So I might have looked like one of these mooches. My sister and her family drives cars that look better in a junkyard. They lived in shacks and their clothes looked worn out. You would think they were poor and needy by looking at them. But they use the look for sympathy. My parents paid their house off, paid for their food. All the while they used their money for beer and cable. My sister has passed away but her children learned it well, go look the same and mooch as well. My dad told me one time to get his table saw and a planer. He said he didn't expect for me to have any inheritance due to my sister and her family and he was right. It taught me to be self sufficient and today I have been at that job for 11 years now and everything is paid off.

Wildcat445 wrote: The truly needy are too proud or ashamed to ask.

From what I have seen this is the best test of someone needy. Most people I have seen that needed help are to ashamed of needing help and won't ask for it. I didn't ask when I was needing help. Somehow I survived it. I do help others but usually I try to help people I know really needs help. Too many con men out there. One of the maddest times I ever got was when I was driving my car a few years ago. I pulled over and was having car trouble. Here I was stressed out over this and this guy pulls up. He then gives me this sad story about being down on his luck and needing help. You could tell he had it memorized.I basically told him I knew what he was talking about as I had trouble a few years back. He then told me how he was homeless. I told him where there was a homeless shelter down the road. He then tells me he needs cash for gas to get there. I told him I had no money on me as it was the truth. I just ignored him then and got back in my car. the sad reality I think is for every person who truly needs help you have 4 to 5 leeches of society who will bark first.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by Wildcat445 on Mon Nov 23, 2015 5:56 pm

I've been on the ropes myself. I didn't have family or anybody to help me. My saying that the needy should look needy. When I go to someone's house who is asking for help and I see a big boat, ATV's and dirtbikes, a jet ski or two and a new pickup and SUV, and people living in a bigger house than I have, that does not look needy to me. That looks like somebody living above their means. I believe there are lots of people willing to help because they have been there themselves. This conversation could go on forever citing different examples. It seems like the wife and I have this conversation every year. We are trying to come up with a "happy medium" where each of us can find satisfaction in any effort we put forth for others. I should be less suspicious, the wife should be less gullible. We have decided to do nothing this year, develop a workable plan for the future. My thought is how bad she would feel if someone she tried to help actually turned out to be a professional deadbeat. That she had cast her pearls before the swine. It would make her feel horrible. She does not deserve that. I'd rather she think I was a scrooge than to get her feelings hurt from her just trying to do the right thing.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by willy3486 on Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:05 pm

One of the best ways to actually help some I think is this. Find someone that really needs help. Them do something for them anonymously, give them a food basket,pay a bill, or just put money in a envelope. I remember a scene from a movie. It was based maybe in the 40s. These people would take a food basket to a front door then knock and run away. No obligation whatsoever to the person who needs help. And you really help someone.

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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by jerryhawthorne on Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:07 am

I only give help to people I know well and need it. When I was working, United Way was the big thing there and "Big" boss (far above me) really signed in for the company to get to the "gold" level. He suggested to me that $1000 would be proper for my pay level. I have nothing against United Way but told him to take a hike as I knew people personally that I was helping through college. No more pressure. I prefer to know where my help is going.
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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by simplex1040 on Tue Nov 24, 2015 1:39 pm

Yes I dislike the "give to the blah blah " from your paycheck at work. thing

No I will give to what I deem I want to give to
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Re: I REALLY stepped in it this time.........

Post by 75X11 on Wed Nov 25, 2015 9:33 am

The Salvation Army can usually be relied upon to direct help where it is truly needed. You could donate to them and they would make the most good of it to the most people.
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