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Post by tube radio on Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:56 pm

I hope everyone likes this joke.

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

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Post by Timaaay! on Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:57 am

LOL!
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Post by Resistance is Futile on Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:10 am

That sir! Was a gravely, sad Joke. Laughing
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Post by tube radio on Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:50 am

Thank you.

Lee

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Post by Bill Cahill on Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:33 am

Personally, I think it was a "casket" case..... Smile What a Face
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Post by Resistance is Futile on Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:32 pm

The hero...


Joe is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafing through his files to see if Joe is worthy of entry.

"Joe," says St. Pete, "I can't see that you've done anything really bad in your life but I can't see that you've done anything really good that would qualify you for Heaven. Can you tell me ANY good deed you've ever done?"

Joe thinks for a moment and says "Sure. I was driving through a bad part of town when I saw about 50 biker guys assaulting this poor girl. I slammed on my brakes, grabbed a tire iron, and walked up to this big guy who seemed to be the leader. All these guys let the girl run away and they formed a circle around me to see what I was gonna do. I laid that tire iron right across his head and he dropped like a stone. Then I turned and yelled to the rest of them "If I ever see you guys around this town again, I'll give you a real lesson in pain."

"Wow" says St. Peter, "I guess you really do qualify for Heaven. Tell me, when did this happen?"

"Oh", says Joe, "about two minutes ago."
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Post by tube radio on Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:05 pm

That is a good one.

Lee

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Post by Resistance is Futile on Fri Feb 13, 2009 8:42 pm

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 40 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 18-year old girl. Now, I have a $500,000.00 home, two $45,000..00 cars, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 58-year old woman who is not a hot chick anymore. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 18-year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis
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Post by Resistance is Futile on Fri Feb 13, 2009 8:44 pm

Thought you might like this one...

Old People
A prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey. He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.


The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed,
saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No,
I never did dance. I just never wanted to.
'

A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said,
'Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.


When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.


The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.


The old man asked, 'Did you ever kiss a mule's butt?'

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, 'No.
But
I've always wanted to.
'

The lessons from this story are:

1. Don't waste ammunition.


2. Don't mess with old people.
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Post by geno on Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:11 pm

GOOD ones! Keep 'em coming!

Gene

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Post by tube radio on Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:12 pm

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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