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Post by Wildcat445 on Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:52 pm

Daisy and Hiram were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. All the family was there, kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, nieces and nephews. A grand meal was shared, gifts given and opened, and they talked of old times. The wife turned to her husband and said, "Hiram, my dear, we have been through life's trials and tribulations together, with no secrets or regrets. There is a question I have always wanted to ask you, and I figured now was as good a time as any. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?" The husband thought for a bit and replied, "Yes, Daisy my love, I have." "How often?" asked the wife. Hiram shuffled over to the bureau drawer, opened it, and took out a cigar box. He dumped the contents out on the dining room table. There were six grains of corn. "Every time I was unfaithful, I put a grain of corn in the box to remind me never to hurt the one I love again." Daisy thought for a moment and said" Six times in 50 years is not too bad. We had five kids and I had to deny you when I was pregnant, then there was the time I got mad at you and made you sleep on the couch. You are a virile, handsome man and certainly have your needs. Six times in 50 years is something I can live with. I have been blessed to have such a good faithful man for a husband. I love you, Hiram."

Hiram turned to his wife and asked, "Now that I have been honest with you, tell me, Daisy my love, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" The wife replied "Yes, Hiram, I have." She walked over to the bureau drawer, opened it, and took out her cigar box. She dumped the contents out onto the dining room table. There was eight grains of corn and a twenty dollar bill. "Each time I was unfaithful, I placed a grain of corn into the box to remind myself of the responsibility I have to you and the kids." The husband said, "Eight times in 50 years is something that is fine with me, as well. I was in the war and was gone for a couple years. You are a fine, handsome blonde little thing and all the guys had eyes for you. I got kicked by the mule that time, and you got mad at me occasionally. All in all, I would say that eight times in 50 years is pretty good, and, I too, have been blessed beyond measure. But tell me, Daisy, what is the twenty dollar bill for?" His wife replied "When I saved up enough corn to make a bushel, I would sell it."

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WC

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Post by 75X11 on Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:20 pm

Very Happy 
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Post by Guest on Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:54 pm

lol! 

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Post by Wildcat445 on Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:46 pm

What do you get when you run over your cell phone with your lawnmower?

Shredded tweet.

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WC

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Post by 75X11 on Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:42 pm

Very Happy 
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Post by Guest on Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:49 pm

Shocked Laughing 

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