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Post by Motorola man on Sat Dec 15, 2012 8:06 pm

Confucius say, "man who breaks wind at church, sits in his own pew."
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Post by Wildcat445 on Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:27 pm

Why is it, that if you leave the cream out of the refrigerator, and it gets sour, you have to throw it away. But you can go to the store and pay money for sour cream.

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Post by Ken g on Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:56 pm

WC leave it out longer , the smell will go away and you will have hard candy to give as gifts .

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Post by Ken g on Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:21 pm

I had a rock under my shoe in my car .

I had to throw away alot on nails today because the head was on the wrong end .

I cant easly program my light thingy .

I took the snow off of my radio .

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Post by scottb on Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:16 pm

My Dad Always says, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper, time always goes faster near the end".

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Post by Guest on Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:32 pm

Ahhh yes!!!!! Toilet Paper!

No job is finished until the paper work is done! lol!

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Post by Bill Cahill on Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:18 am

Reminds me of a writer in Detroit in the 50's -60's. Her name was Erma Bombeck. She wrote books, and, did a colum for the Detroit Free Press.
One such nifty saying by her, and, yes, she wrote a book of this title, was "If life is just a bowl of cherries, why am I in the pitts?".
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Post by simplex1040 on Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:19 pm

Erma wrote The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank
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Post by Bill Cahill on Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:03 pm

Yes, but, wasn't there a third book??
Those are the only two I remember by her, though she wrote a weekly colum for the paper.
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Post by simplex1040 on Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:53 pm

at witts end
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Post by scottb on Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:59 pm

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead, Stan Laural

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Post by Ken g on Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:39 pm

Can i lead a pencil to water and have a hoarse made of lead

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Post by simplex1040 on Fri Dec 21, 2012 2:48 pm

....If you've ever wondered.....wondered what ever became of me......
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Post by Bill Cahill on Fri Dec 21, 2012 4:37 pm

Yes. Whatever happenned to the theatre??
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Post by simplex1040 on Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:03 pm

not enough money.
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Post by simplex1040 on Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:06 pm

".....I am livin on the air in Cincinatti,....Cininatti, WKRP
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Post by Ken g on Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:06 pm

Thats to bad Simplex . I suppose their was not enough interest by the public ? . Its that way here with antiques now . No one cares unless they are 5$ .
BTW do you have any empty 16mm 10'' film reels ?

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Post by harold wright on Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:19 pm

Who decided that electron flow is opposite "conventional current flow"??

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Post by Ken g on Tue Dec 25, 2012 1:54 pm

The guy watched the current flow of current and decided then .

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Post by Guest on Tue Dec 25, 2012 2:14 pm

Electron theory only works below the equator! study

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Post by Wildcat445 on Tue Dec 25, 2012 3:05 pm

I wonder.....

When you are dating a girl, there are certain things about you that she finds "cute."

After you marry said girl, she will spend the next 40 years trying to change those same "cute" things.

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Post by Ken g on Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:16 pm

Does that include farting monkey

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Post by Motorola man on Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:05 pm

I don't think that there's even one woman on this world who finds that cute. As for trying to get a man to stop, we'll that's just complete nonsense to think that a man's ever going to give up his most hilarious bodily function. I pitty the poor woman that takes on that fruitless endevor, and should she actually be sucessful, just think about the consequences for a moment. What kind of world would it be if a man couldn't "Dutch oven" his wife? What of the children who would never know the joy of hearing the funny sound when asked to pull the finger of dear old dad? What if that awful smell really did come from the dog? That's a world that I never want to know.
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Post by Guest on Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:15 pm

Why men fart and women don't;

Women are always talking and can't build up any pressure inside while men don't get the chance to talk, so they release the pressure by farting. So it's the womens fault for not giving us a chance to speak! lol!


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Post by 35Z5 on Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:05 pm

Ever wonder why time dragged so slowly when you were young but these days it seems to flyby???

Your age is a multiplication factor...

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